


… Are Lost

by neverminetohold



Series: O cursèd spite, that ever I was born to set it right! [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dreams, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 17:16:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9334853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverminetohold/pseuds/neverminetohold
Summary: Ever since meeting Carbuncle Noctis had sought refuge in the safety of his dreams...





	

When Noctis opened his eyes within his dream, reality refused to relinquish its hold on him for one drawn-out and jarring moment that made him reel.  
  
He could still smell pine needles being crushed underfoot, hear the patter of earth and rain on polished coffin lids, felt the twinge of stitches and pressure of bandages around his lower back, that chafed beneath the fabric of his new suit...  
  
He must have fallen asleep in the Regalia right after the funeral and been put to bed by one of the servants upon their return to the Citadel.  
  
The day before Ignis had requested that his charge be excused from attending the public ceremony, stating that the prince was too young and been harshly rebuked for his kind efforts. Standing beside his father's throne Noctis had witnessed the audience and wondered, not for the first time, why his friend had not yet learned to keep his silence and do as he was told.  
  
It was a lesson he himself had internalized early on and found to make life at the palace far more agreeable.  
  
But in hindsight, Noctis was grateful that Ignis had tried. He had hated every moment of the funeral - the rites, the prayers, the cameras. And more than anything the thought that these people had died for him. How their families and friends had mourned their loss one second and claimed in the next that to lay down their lives for the Prince of Lucis was a privilege and honor...  
  
It made him feel sad and angry, confused and hollow. How could his one life be worth so much more than theirs?  
  
His heart pounding in his ears and throat painfully dry, Noctis shook himself like a wet dog. The black suit he wore dissolved into a fine mist, then resolved itself into his favorite summer outfit: simple shorts, a T-shirt and hoodie.  
  
He had discovered that in this otherworldly realm, the lingering memories that pained him could be shed like droplets of water. They were not lost, would return soon enough upon waking, but there was something very sweet to being light as a feather.  
  
He suspected it was the reason why Carbuncle had come and led him here in the first place.  
  
Now one with the dream, Noctis took in his surroundings. He quickly realized that he had never been here before. This wasn't the mirror image of Insomnia he was so familiar with or the beautiful, sunlit landscapes filled with streams to swim in or trees to climb where he usually played.  
  
This was just darkness, interrupted by brighter spots with ancient ruins that looked as if a giant had torn them apart like building blocks and tossed them this way and that in a tantrum. Those aside he could only see the softly glowing lights of floating crystal shards.  
  
"Carbuncle?" Noctis called and flinched when a thousand distorted echoes rushed back to answer him.  
  
An uneasy feeling settled into the pit of his stomach. He had never before appeared in the realm of dreams without being called and he had no idea how to return to his body without the little white fox there to guide him.  
  
_A king pushes onward always, accepting the consequences and never looking back_ , the memory of his father's stern voice whispered in his ear.  
  
Determined not to let his fear get the better of him, Noctis nodded to himself and began walking towards the pale outline of the nearest column.  
  
XXX  
  
The transition was both abrupt and hazy, like moving through a dense fog, but suddenly, Noctis found himself standing in the heart of a sprawling city.  
  
The sky overhead was the clear azure of early summer, the air hot with a breeze that carried the cloying smell of flowers in full bloom - and the sharp tang of pollution from Magitek machinery. Grand structures of polished white stone with balconies and golden-domed spires loomed all around him.  
  
Taking it all in, Noctis swallowed nervously. He neither liked the silence nor lack of people, but at the same time, he did not dare stop.  
  
He continued to follow the southbound street past marble statues dedicated to the Six. Strange angular letters he couldn't make sense of were carved in every plinth and the hand-woven baskets placed before them were overflowing with offerings of good luck charms, food and drink. He tripped over a little straw doll and caught himself, only then noticing that he walked on mosaic tiles with a repeating pattern of sunbursts.  
  
The next transition happened so quickly that Noctis lost his balance all over again, but crushed between the bodies of adults draped in festive robes, he had nowhere to fall.  
  
He screamed but then bit his tongue. The people clustered around him paid him no heed, kept pushing and pulling him forward, past abandoned market stalls; trampling spices and fruits. The roar of trumpets and their jubilant cries was deafening. Flower petals and colored bits of paper floated in the air, stuck to sweaty skin.  
  
A short-lived hush fell over the crowd, then a woman began to chant a name that others picked up until all Noctis' ringing ears could hear was a distorted echo. Those standing closest to the street strained to reach and touch whoever passed by while tears of rapture streamed down their faces.  
  
The last thing Noctis spotted before he was knocked to the ground was the crest of a black chocobo.  
  
XXX  
  
What he saw and felt next defied description. He simply lacked the words for the layers of images, emotions and sensations that assaulted him while his body fell through endless darkness. -- Whenever he touched one of the crystal shards that started to drift past him there was a flash of _something_.  
  
  
cold stones underneath his naked body  
  
the weight of chains  
  
the edge of an axe biting into his neck  
  
pupils blown-wide with horror staring through iron bars  
  
a pool of dark blood shrinking to nothing  
  
fading pain  
  
cradling a dead man  
  
salt on his lips  
  
the Crystal losing its luster  
  
the king is dead  
  
razor-sharp wings flaring in judgment  
  
calling and fire answers  
  
long live the king  
  
  
Finally his mind simply shut down, rejecting whatever was happening to him, leaving only raw instinct behind. And Noctis tried, for the first time out of his own volition, to reach inside himself, to touch upon the core of magic everyone insisted resided within him.  
  
He imagined the shape and weight of his training weapon in his hand, the missing chunk in the crossguard that matched the scar at the base of his thumb, the nicks along the length of the blade, the dull gleam of steel...  
  
Noctis could almost feel it. But when he tried to summon it, to turn the thought into reality, he came up empty. And kept falling.  
  
XXX  
  
For a moment Noctis did not dare move, too worried that he was still trespassing on someone else's nightmare. But then a cold and wet nose sniffed along his bare arm, making him flinch and sit upright so fast that he felt a little dizzy.  
  
Relief flooded his veins, washed away his fears and the nervous tension that had begun to make his whole body ache. "Carbuncle!"  
  
Happy to have finally found his friend, Noctis reached out to hug him close and bury his face in soft fur. But the white fox danced away on nimble paws, as if suddenly wary of being touched. Whiskers trembling it crouched low to the ground, staring intently. Its hackles rose and it started to snarl, baring a row of needle-fine canines.  
  
"Carbuncle?" Noctis asked, the grin slipping from his lips. Instinct drove him to scramble away until his back hit cold marble. "What is it? What's wrong with you?"  
  
Ruby-colored light began to gather at the tip of Carbuncles' crystal horn. _This is for your own good, Prince of Lucis_.  
  
"I do happen to strongly disagree."  
  
The sudden voice with its mocking edge made Carbuncle freeze, squandering its chance to strike. To Noctis the tone was familiar, enough so to put him at ease, for it belonged to the stranger who had saved him from the Marilith and the threat of turning into a daemon -- a fact he had kept secret.  
  
As he had on the night of their first encounter, the man seemed to step straight out of a fold in the darkness, the tails of his coat swishing around his ankles. "Which means now would be an excellent time for you to take your leave."  
  
_Accursed!_  
  
"Ah, ah, ah!" the man admonished with a wagging finger. "Careful now, we have a young child present."  
  
His view being blocked by the man, Noctis could not see what exactly happened next, but both the radiant gleam of Carbuncle's magic and its grating presence within the dream abruptly vanished.  
  
"So much for that." Brushing an invisible speck of dust from his sleeve, the man turned around with a genial smile. "I do hope that fluffy menace caused you no harm?"  
  
Bracing himself against the column, Noctis stood up on legs that shook from the shock of being threatened by a being he had thought of as a true friend. "I-I don't think so."  
  
"I am relieved to hear that."  
  
The pressure of a headache building behind his eyes and temples, his head swarming with questions, Noctis decided to settle on the one that seemed the most urgent to him. "Why?"  
  
"With the Six and one of their pets being involved?" The man flexed his shoulders in barely a shrug. "Whoever could say or even dare guess?"  
  
"Was it because of me? Did I do something wrong?!"  
  
Noctis hated the way his vision started to blur, how his voice rose in pitch and cracked before he had even finished speaking. Looking down at his shoes in shame as he was, he failed to anticipate the touch and hide his flinch. But the big hand that settled on his head did no more than gently ruffle his hair.  
  
"None of this is your fault, my sweet prince."  
  
"Hm-mh."  
  
Not yet trusting himself to speak, Noctis nodded, trying very hard not to sniffle. The man stepped back and politely pretended not to notice how he used the hem of his hoodie to quickly wipe his eyes and running nose.  
  
"Now then, we have done no less than met once upon a dream... I dare say such an occasion calls for proper introductions." The man doffed his fedora in one of his flourished, elegant bows. "Please, call me Ardyn."  
  
The royal protocol, manners and phrases his tutors had done their best to instill into him instantly came to mind, crowded on the tip of his tongue. It took a conscious effort on his part to swallow them instead.  
  
Perhaps it was nothing of the sort, but it felt like taking a huge risk, a gamble. Judging by past experience, simply being himself never seemed quite enough to the adults around him.  
  
"I'm Noctis."  
  
For just a second, Ardyn seemed to be taken aback by his blatant lack of formality, in a way that did not bode well, because it reminded Noctis of his father, but then he chuckled and offered his hand. His grip was firm without being painful and since Ardyn wore fingerless gloves Noctis could feel the calluses that marked him as a swordsman. - Which came as no surprise, considering that he had seen him defeat a Marilith with utter ease.  
  
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance," Ardyn said, his tone grave and solemn, - only to ruin the effect with a conspiratorial wink. "Noct."  
  
Noctis, not used to being teased by anyone but Ignis, relaxed and managed a smile; his tension had faded, but the headache was getting worse. "Thank you for saving me. Again, I mean."  
  
"I am at your service," Ardyn assured him. "But be that as it may, I can see that your adventure has taken a toll on you. Allow me to send you home."  
  
Suddenly so tired that he could barely keep his eyes open, Noctis nodded eagerly. "Please."  
  
"As you wish," Ardyn said, and snapped his fingers.  
  
As if summoned by the sharp noise alone a portal appeared, that looked as if a blade had cut through the darkness and left behind a gaping tear, one through which a thick fog full of sparkling crystal shards poured.  
  
"You need only step through."  
  
All his urgent questions were back in full force but Noctis could not muster the energy to ask them, not standing on the threshold and seeing his bedroom on the other side. Still...  
  
Noctis turned around, resisted the invisible forces of magic that tried to pull him through, now that he had come so close to crossing between the two realms.  
  
"Will I see you again?"  
  
"Oh?" Ardyn raised an eyebrow. "Would you want to?"  
  
Gritting his teeth against the cold torrents that washed over him, Noctis nodded. "Yes."  
  
"Then you shall," Ardyn said, and even with no further details given as to how and when, it sounded like a promise. "And Noct? One word of advice, if I may be so bold..."  
  
XXX  
  
Upon waking, Noctis did not hesitate to act. Ignoring the protest of his healing wound and aching head, he pushed his tangled blanket away and reached for the switch of the bedside lamp.  
  
Its warm glow fell on the good luck charm the woman from Tenebrae had given him last August, as a present for his sixth birthday. It showed Carbuncle in a golden ring of flowers, with a crescent moon rising in the background.  
  
He stared at it, angry and hurt on account of its betrayal but also oddly numb.  
  
Picking the wooden disc up he snapped it in half with a loud crack, then padded across the room to toss it into the fireplace. Noctis watched the flames and dancing embers until only a tiny pile of ashes remained.  
  
Then he went back to bed and sleep, and did not dream at all.


End file.
